"We Can't Breathe"

“Freedom is the open window through which pours the sunlight of the human spirit and human dignity.” – Herbert Hoover

Today I exchanged texts with my youngest niece who is 21 and is a junior at Texas State.  One of her black college friends, Justin Howell was critically injured by the Austin police when he was hit by a rubber bullet that fractured his skull.  My niece has a tender heart and is an amazing student leader, and I could tell this has shaken her to her core.  All I could say to her that I believed we are at a point of a breakthrough and that history shows that the violence of police and oppression against citizens especially blacks is not new.  I contributed to Justin’s go fund me page in response.  I vowed to myself to follow her lead in her Instagram post to “not let my foot off the pedal” in this fight against oppression and the right to assemble to make our grievances known.

Last Thursday night, I posted from my Twitter feed to my Facebook feed a video of thousands of protestors in Washington D.C. lying on their stomachs with their hands behind their backs as the sun was going down crying “I can’t breathe.”  These protestors weren’t solely making a statement on the murder of George Floyd or even the fact that a knee has been on the neck of blacks for four centuries keeping them “in their place.” It is a symbol of the economic inequity and authoritarian policies practiced by the United States government and the oligarchy that is a growing threat to our country.  It is not a coincidence that these peaceful protests include millions of young and old people, men and women of all races including whites.  And it is not a coincidence that the same protests are all over the United States and the World. 

On Wednesday, I had a Facebook exchange with another niece of mine about the Washington D.C. protest where Attorney General Barr ordered the clearing of a peaceful protest with weapons so that the President could walk to a church and hold up a Bible.  She said the press was not telling the whole story, that some of the protestors were violent and wouldn’t clear a path when directed to by the police. She referenced in her comments a statement by the White House Press Secretary.  My niece then said the police had a right to defend themselves.  I said the protestors, the journalists at the protest, journalists who investigated the facts and videos taken by the protests dispute the statements by the White House and Park Service Police.   I said to my niece the question is, “who do you believe?”  Given the daily stream of lies, calls for violence, vile comments, corruption and hate speech coming out of the President’s twitter feed and speeches as well as his administration, I believe the video evidence, the protestors and the journalists.  

Growing up in a military family I was taught self-discipline, respect for authority, and hard work.   I know that all leaders or positions of power are fallible, and a mark of good leader is to admit mistakes and then correct them.  But those in authority or positions of power, who fear loss of their power to minorities and women, often do not.  In the 1980s as part of the generation of women first entering auditing, I was pulled into a conference room without warning by the Director and Manager and presented with a piece of paper which told me  “to do exactly what I am told unless it is illegal, unethical or immoral." I was also told they were  "placing me on probation.”  This was despite my project evaluations praising me for my customer service and the fact the Director and Manager had not offered any examples of insubordination.  I had planned to leave the company because I was warned by male members of the department that I was “too talented for this company.”   I knew that this Director and the Manager had discriminated against, sexually propositioned, had affairs with, and had sexually assaulted women in the department.  After two internal investigations, the Personnel Communication Director who was a woman fought to get the director and manager fired but failed when overridden by the male Executive Management. I was told by Personnel Communications not to contest anything written about me or I would be deemed insubordinate and fired.  Eventually I was fired when I could no longer work under the stress in the department and I wrote in response to my last evaluation before going on sick leave, “If evaluations are to be given, I agree I am in need of improvement which is a continuous life long journey.  But I question the intent and it is vicious.”  The intent of the evaluation and the series of confrontations, in my opinion was to break my spirit.  Breaking the spirits of blacks, people of color, women and the white men who stand up against them, has too often been the intent of people in power.    

I have been studying American History with Dr. Heather Cox Richardson, a Harvard PhD and professor at Boston College courtesy of her Facebook feed.  A remarkable scholar and storyteller, she says throughout American History there has always been the fight over who is actually equal an an underlying premise that those who by virtue of having large sums of money believe they know what is best and therefore, should run the country for the benefit of all.  And under the original Constitution, women and slaves (blacks) were considered property.  This premise was contested by the original Republicans, who were once the party of Lincoln.  They believed that all men should have equal opportunity to contribute to our nation and that making money was not the most important factor  necessary to govern the country.  This seems to have been lost by the current Republican party who supports an autocratic President and corporate interests instead of the people.

I tell these stories because I know as individuals, we want to believe that our leaders and those in power can be trusted to be unbiased, fair, and working in our best interests, but in many cases they are not.  These protests are not just about the murder of one black man in a string of murders of blacks.  It is about breaking the spirit of blacks and those who challenge  authority.   There is a difference between the rule of law where the law applies to everyone including the President,  and the term law and order which subjugates those who protest and rebel against unequal treatment under the law by those in power.  

I will end with a conversation I had with my cousin in Seattle who is a retired nurse who has lived in Washington, Idaho, Montana and Oregon. In discussing the country, we quickly came to understand that our life experiences gave us different perspectives and that inequities stem often from different environments and require different solutions.  The problems in our country have to be solved at both the grassroots level and at the federal policy level and it will take a deep understanding of the human condition and behavior.  It will have to be based on shared goals and debates with diverse groups of people to develop solutions.  We will be imperfect, and we will have to keep reinventing and trying new solutions.  We will have to reevaluate everything fundamental to our government that contributes to policing, health,  environmental,  and economic disparities.  We need to stop breaking the spirit of people in our country and in our world, who cry out for justice, especially those who are black who have had a knee on their neck for four centuries.   

“We can’t breathe.”  

“There is no week nor day nor hour when tyranny may not enter upon this country, if the people lose their roughness and spirit of defiance.”  - Walt Whitman