No Rest for the Wicked

The Lord by wisdom founded the earth;
By understanding He established the heavens;
By His knowledge the depths were broken up,
And clouds drop down the dew.
My son, let them not depart from your eyes—
Keep sound wisdom and discretion;
- Proverbs 3:19-21 NIV

I am blessed to be participating in a Bible Study of Proverbs on-line with my friend Rose leading the discussion.  I love to learn from Rose because of her deep insight into the human condition and God, and her ability to draw out the experiences and wisdom from all the participants.  Proverbs is the Book of Wisdom in the Bible and it is especially relevant today.

Wisdom comes in two forms, knowledge and spirit both which are gifts from God.  Knowledge is obtained by studying the Bible and learning and practicing in our areas of expertise.  Knowledge is finite and therefore, contains boundaries and is based on conscious reasoning.  However, Spirit is based on intuition, which is infinite and within the unconscious.  Spirit is pure knowing without reasoning.  Spirit is based on love, and knowledge is based on the law defined as “a thing regarded as having the binding force or effect of a formal system of rules.”  If we are truly led by the Spirit which is based on love, then actions do not need to be prescribed on conscious reasoning or the law.

“But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.” (Galatians 5:18).  “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”  (Galatians 5:22)

But of course, other than Jesus, can anyone say they are completely led by the Spirit?  So, we need to consciously study to change our behavior and that is why Proverbs is particularly powerful.  In Proverbs 3:19-26, "God warns us to keep sound wisdom and discretion; So, they will be life to your soul and grace to your neck.”   God is saying that when we act with love and wisdom, grace (or the favor) of God will be upon us.  Grace is God’s protection which is given to us when we walk with love and wisdom as Proverbs 3:23-26 states:

"Then you will walk safely in your way,
And your foot will not stumble.
When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet.
Do not be afraid of sudden terror,
Nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes;
For the Lord will be your confidence,
And will keep your foot from being caught."

In these verses, God is telling us even when we act with integrity and from love, the wicked can still attack, but as Rose says we can remain peaceful.  The strategy of acting from love will always prevail in the end because God is love, and love is the most powerful force in the Universe - “the Lord will be your confidence.”   This is because God is acting from the spirit or eternal, not the human and finite.

So many of us focus on our humanity and perceived mortality, that we fail to see the eternal or Kairos (God’s) time at work in our lives.  God’s will does not determine individual consequences on our lives, but rather is in the response.  To combat evil, we must respond with love knowing that God’s plan is infinite and eternal, not limited to our perceived existence as humans.   Working together in love with God’s grace and favor, righteousness or God's Kingdom will prevail on Earth as it is in Heaven.

As Proverbs 4: 14-19 says, the wicked who do not walk in the way of love and the Lord, live in constant agony and paranoia because they cannot sleep without fear. And when they are defeated, they never see that their own wickedness and evil led to their demise.

"Do not set foot on the path of the wicked
    or walk in the way of evildoers.
Avoid it, do not travel on it;
    turn from it and go on your way.
For they cannot rest until they do evil;
    they are robbed of sleep till they make someone stumble.
They eat the bread of wickedness
    and drink the wine of violence.
The path of the righteous is like the morning sun,
    shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
    they do not know what makes them stumble."

"We Can't Breathe"

“Freedom is the open window through which pours the sunlight of the human spirit and human dignity.” – Herbert Hoover

Today I exchanged texts with my youngest niece who is 21 and is a junior at Texas State.  One of her black college friends, Justin Howell was critically injured by the Austin police when he was hit by a rubber bullet that fractured his skull.  My niece has a tender heart and is an amazing student leader, and I could tell this has shaken her to her core.  All I could say to her that I believed we are at a point of a breakthrough and that history shows that the violence of police and oppression against citizens especially blacks is not new.  I contributed to Justin’s go fund me page in response.  I vowed to myself to follow her lead in her Instagram post to “not let my foot off the pedal” in this fight against oppression and the right to assemble to make our grievances known.

Last Thursday night, I posted from my Twitter feed to my Facebook feed a video of thousands of protestors in Washington D.C. lying on their stomachs with their hands behind their backs as the sun was going down crying “I can’t breathe.”  These protestors weren’t solely making a statement on the murder of George Floyd or even the fact that a knee has been on the neck of blacks for four centuries keeping them “in their place.” It is a symbol of the economic inequity and authoritarian policies practiced by the United States government and the oligarchy that is a growing threat to our country.  It is not a coincidence that these peaceful protests include millions of young and old people, men and women of all races including whites.  And it is not a coincidence that the same protests are all over the United States and the World. 

On Wednesday, I had a Facebook exchange with another niece of mine about the Washington D.C. protest where Attorney General Barr ordered the clearing of a peaceful protest with weapons so that the President could walk to a church and hold up a Bible.  She said the press was not telling the whole story, that some of the protestors were violent and wouldn’t clear a path when directed to by the police. She referenced in her comments a statement by the White House Press Secretary.  My niece then said the police had a right to defend themselves.  I said the protestors, the journalists at the protest, journalists who investigated the facts and videos taken by the protests dispute the statements by the White House and Park Service Police.   I said to my niece the question is, “who do you believe?”  Given the daily stream of lies, calls for violence, vile comments, corruption and hate speech coming out of the President’s twitter feed and speeches as well as his administration, I believe the video evidence, the protestors and the journalists.  

Growing up in a military family I was taught self-discipline, respect for authority, and hard work.   I know that all leaders or positions of power are fallible, and a mark of good leader is to admit mistakes and then correct them.  But those in authority or positions of power, who fear loss of their power to minorities and women, often do not.  In the 1980s as part of the generation of women first entering auditing, I was pulled into a conference room without warning by the Director and Manager and presented with a piece of paper which told me  “to do exactly what I am told unless it is illegal, unethical or immoral." I was also told they were  "placing me on probation.”  This was despite my project evaluations praising me for my customer service and the fact the Director and Manager had not offered any examples of insubordination.  I had planned to leave the company because I was warned by male members of the department that I was “too talented for this company.”   I knew that this Director and the Manager had discriminated against, sexually propositioned, had affairs with, and had sexually assaulted women in the department.  After two internal investigations, the Personnel Communication Director who was a woman fought to get the director and manager fired but failed when overridden by the male Executive Management. I was told by Personnel Communications not to contest anything written about me or I would be deemed insubordinate and fired.  Eventually I was fired when I could no longer work under the stress in the department and I wrote in response to my last evaluation before going on sick leave, “If evaluations are to be given, I agree I am in need of improvement which is a continuous life long journey.  But I question the intent and it is vicious.”  The intent of the evaluation and the series of confrontations, in my opinion was to break my spirit.  Breaking the spirits of blacks, people of color, women and the white men who stand up against them, has too often been the intent of people in power.    

I have been studying American History with Dr. Heather Cox Richardson, a Harvard PhD and professor at Boston College courtesy of her Facebook feed.  A remarkable scholar and storyteller, she says throughout American History there has always been the fight over who is actually equal an an underlying premise that those who by virtue of having large sums of money believe they know what is best and therefore, should run the country for the benefit of all.  And under the original Constitution, women and slaves (blacks) were considered property.  This premise was contested by the original Republicans, who were once the party of Lincoln.  They believed that all men should have equal opportunity to contribute to our nation and that making money was not the most important factor  necessary to govern the country.  This seems to have been lost by the current Republican party who supports an autocratic President and corporate interests instead of the people.

I tell these stories because I know as individuals, we want to believe that our leaders and those in power can be trusted to be unbiased, fair, and working in our best interests, but in many cases they are not.  These protests are not just about the murder of one black man in a string of murders of blacks.  It is about breaking the spirit of blacks and those who challenge  authority.   There is a difference between the rule of law where the law applies to everyone including the President,  and the term law and order which subjugates those who protest and rebel against unequal treatment under the law by those in power.  

I will end with a conversation I had with my cousin in Seattle who is a retired nurse who has lived in Washington, Idaho, Montana and Oregon. In discussing the country, we quickly came to understand that our life experiences gave us different perspectives and that inequities stem often from different environments and require different solutions.  The problems in our country have to be solved at both the grassroots level and at the federal policy level and it will take a deep understanding of the human condition and behavior.  It will have to be based on shared goals and debates with diverse groups of people to develop solutions.  We will be imperfect, and we will have to keep reinventing and trying new solutions.  We will have to reevaluate everything fundamental to our government that contributes to policing, health,  environmental,  and economic disparities.  We need to stop breaking the spirit of people in our country and in our world, who cry out for justice, especially those who are black who have had a knee on their neck for four centuries.   

“We can’t breathe.”  

“There is no week nor day nor hour when tyranny may not enter upon this country, if the people lose their roughness and spirit of defiance.”  - Walt Whitman

  

Love Thy Neighbor As Thyself

 “Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.” - Martin Luther King

Last night, after five days of feeling the anxiety in our nation, I took my nightly walk around my neighborhood waving to my neighbors as they worked in their yards and played with their children.  It was a surreal experience with all the videos and news of the riots and looting in cities across the nation.  Most of my neighbors are African Americans with other races mixed in including Asians, whites and Hispanics.   I am blessed because I feel wrapped in the presence and love of God in my neighborhood.  

It has been hard week because I have communicated with two of my nieces, who I love, who sometimes spread disinformation with their Facebook posts.  I suspect from their posts and comments, they are being fed information by trolls and others who inflame all our biases.  They classify news sources such as the New York Times and Washington Posts as biased and without facts.  At one point, one of my nieces said she realized I thought she was racist just because we held different viewpoints. She said she believed in the constitutional rights for everyone.  I said ignoring African American legitimate grievances, oppression and injustices because some were rioting (especially when we don’t know yet who is instigating the violence), never solves the underlying problem that caused the anger and unrest.

My niece also believes fraud can’t be prevented and detected when voting by mail.    She holds this position, without understanding all the controls that have been implemented to prevent mail voting fraud.  The fact is, most Americans don’t have the time or expertise to know all the controls, and this requires faith in our institutions, both political parties, and press to set up and monitor these controls.  Often, political arguments, such as turning out or suppressing the vote depending on our perception of the outcome, make us for and against something instead of evaluating the facts and the process to ensure that rights are protected for all Americans. 

Right now, we are in a crisis of faith and trust because of partisanship and misinformation.  It is critical that we trust other people and our institutions but verify the facts, for our society to function.  For me, every American should vote, and we should make it easy.  As members of our society we need to demand political, economic, and social systemic changes for all the underprivileged, especially for African Americans.  The fact is working class and middle-class whites are also experiencing growing wealth inequity and this is increasing tension and resentment and the recent economic and health crisis has accelerated it.   But real fundamental change will require out of the box thinking by a diverse group trying different solutions focused on long-term measurable goals.  The recent success of Space X shows a partnership between private industry and the government when focused on goals that benefit us all, can accomplish amazing things successfully.   We need to find a balance between our private, social, government, and corporate interests.

This leads me a discussion I had yesterday with a friend and her husband; we were talking about discrimination.  Her husband said he doesn’t believe that discrimination exists anymore because he said hasn’t personally seen it lately and asked us to give a personal example.  He said he believed the conflicts with blacks is really a problem with whether or not someone respects authority. My friend’s husband is a white male in his sixties.  My response to him was that we all exist in a bubble of our own personal experience that determines how perceive the world.  First, we must acknowledge and respect that other people have experiences different than ours, before we can make fundamental changes to the systems and attitudes underlying our society.

I told him of a recent PBS show I saw where two couples in their thirties, one white, one African American with a moderator discussed race.   When asked if discrimination was still present, the white couple said no.  They said they weren’t prejudiced, and they did not think it really exists now.  The African American man looked at them incredulously, and said angrily, “I have been pulled over by the police seven times.”  In our white “bubble,” if we get pulled over by the police, we didn’t follow the law.  In the black experience it is sometimes because they don’t fit the race profile in the neighborhood they are driving in and there is an underlying suspicion on the part of the police.  Unless you are a black man driving in a car every day who shares your experience with your black friends, you would not know this experience is more common amongst blacks.  Your experience as a white person is very different, because you don’t live every day in a black skin. 

Some whites observing the violence against George Floyd on the video or other instances of violence still assume that that the black must have resisted authority.  In a time of phone cameras, more violent acts are being questioned, but it still does not capture the systemic violence and discrimination.  Another recent example is that Ahmaud Arbery out jogging who was murdered by two white vigilantes in Georgia were only arrested several months later after a lawyer of the man following in a car filming the murder released the video.  For blacks, this is another act of violence accepted in four hundred years of ingrained slavery, oppression, and murder in our society.   We have made progress as I have experienced in my neighborhood, but we have a long way to go in our country.

At the end of all this, I am reminded how grateful I am for my neighbors, my friend and spiritual mother Ethel, and my close friends who are black.  My relationships with blacks have moved me and changed me in powerful ways.  My friend Ethel who passed away from cancer in 2007, showed me unconditional love and support.   And she gave it to me at risk to herself and her family if she had lost her job in the process of supporting my complaint of discrimination.  Ethel was the first person that truly modeled the love of God for me and shared her faith.  My experience with black women who are close to me is that their love and faith in God is unmatched.   I think this is due to the pain and suffering inflicted on them due to discrimination, suffering and abuse unique to black women.   Instead of harboring anger, they give their grief and pain to God and in return God loves them back and they feel peace and joy.  An example for us all.

My concluding thought is we need to create a society that works for all of us, because in the end all of us benefit.  We reap what we sow.  When we love others, we receive love back. 

“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”

The Spirit Within

“Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.”  David Bowe.

“That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.”  John 3:6

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law”.  Galatians 5:22-23

Today I have had a series of conversations by text and by phone with two very special women in my life.  In the first conversation, my sister-in-law and I were texting selfies where we were both comparing different aspects about our appearances.  I had found a box hair color (thank you L’Oréal!) that did an amazing job of covering my gray hair and my sister-in-law has recently lost thirty pounds.  This exchange turned into a conversation about love.  My sister-in-law has struggled with boundary issues all her life because as she put it “she was desperate for love” after a difficult childhood. As a consequence, in the past she has suppressed her own needs always being in the position of giving, until finally her emotions explode.  I on the other hand, was raised in a military family and was taught discipline, the need for self-control and proper appearances, and the importance of not making mistakes.  As a result, I was always critical of myself, never feeling I was perfect enough to be loved.

As the conversation progressed from sharing photos, talking hair color and weight, and our mistakes in love, we both came to the same conclusion.  When we learned later on in life that God is love and when we put our faith in God, we gradually began to grow past our insecurities.   What I love about my sister-in-law is that she has the most beautiful way of bringing up a Bible verse when we are talking.   This time, I sent her the quote by David Bowe I had just found on Pinterest, “Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.”  We both agreed our lives have been evolution and knew our choices and responses would have been wiser in our youth if we had been the person we are now.

Next I talked to on the phone to my cousin’s wife who is a devoted prayer warrior.  We too, have the most amazing conversations about God, family, life, love, heartbreak and challenges.  I shared David Bowe’s quote and her response was that she saw her life as a series of encounters led by God to prepare for the next battle, her core compassion always present.   This conversation made me think more deeply about the essence of David Bowe’s quote.  As I have aged, I have grown in patience and thoughtfulness which are fruit of the Holy Spirit that I lacked within my younger self.  I am now the person I should have been because the Holy Spirit is present within me as a result my life experiences and my faith in God.  And because my soul has grown within nurtured by the Holy Spirit, so has the depth and contribution of my human gifts.   So perhaps one could say, “Aging is an extraordinary journey where God awakens the spirit and soul within and therefore the person that God always intended you to be.”  

We Are Warriors

“Every victorious warrior draws his strength from the highest source; his love.” ― Tapan Ghosh

Yesterday I was engaged in a Facebook conversation with my fitness instructor.  She was depressed and angry that the stay at the home order in Illinois had been extended.  She thought the danger was exaggerated and she needed to lead her classes and interact with people and she just could not stand it any longer bashing the governor and Illinois.  Her posts were uncharacteristic because she is joyful and a great leader.  I love taking her classes because if we are slogging, she kicks our butts into high gear.

She hasn’t been the only one expressing cabin fever and economic frustration amongst the public.  I have heard others including members of my family who say open up the economy.  They state people die from the flu and we do not shut down the economy, the danger is exaggerated, and then they say people will die anyway no matter what we do.  These comments reminded me of a commencement speech (one of my favorites) given by Admiral William H. McRaven on May 7, 2014 based on his training as a Navy Seal.

In the speech he said, “SEAL training was a great equalizer. Nothing mattered but your will to succeed.  Not your color, not your ethnic background, not your education and not your social status.  If you want to change the world, measure a person by the size of their heart, not the size of their flippers.”  He went on to say, “Every SEAL knows that under the keel, at the darkest moment of the mission, is the time when you must be calm, composed – when all your tactical skills, your physical power and your inner strength must be brought to bear.  If you want to change the world, you must be your very best in the darkest moment.”

As Americans we need to reframe our thoughts to exemplify a warrior in a battle.  Only forty percent succeed SEAL in finishing training, and they are not the strongest, the most physically fit – they are those that have the mental discipline not to give up and to keep going no matter how difficult the conditions.

A military motto drummed into me by my father’s military service is we never leave another person behind.  There is a bound of comradeship in the military because lives depend on it.  Americans who shout about their freedom that they have the right to do what they want at the expense of others, don’t know what it is to sacrifice and place their life on the line for others.  They are weak in brandishing their guns in capitol buildings without understanding true discipline or unification under the American flag.  They seek to intimidate, not to protect their rights.

So those who can, should help those that are struggling who don’t have the means to live.  We need to make our voices heard, we are all in this together and we won’t sacrifice the lives of anyone for the sake of money.  We are better than that.  We do not leave anyone behind.  We are warriors.  We are Americans.

New Beginnings

“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” – Lao Tzu

We have been blessed this year in the St. Louis area with cooler weather and rain with the dogwood, red bud and other trees slowly blossoming and leafing out on the branches.  It seems like so many of our springs lately have been missed as we transition from winter directly into hot summer temperatures.

Yesterday I planted my three remaining shrubs I purchased this month and as I dug the holes, placed the shrubs in the holes and packed the dirt and mulch around them I thought about a lot of things.  For one thing, it is much easier to plant shrubs after several days of rain.  So next time, I will buy the shrubs, but wait for a cool day after a steady rain to plant.  I realized that I need to use the shovel to slice around the hole before digging and that I had learned that from watching my nurseryman Joe, who has helped plant gardens at my last four homes who is now retired.  I remembered he used a tarp to throw the dirt and grass clumps keeping the area tidy.  I improvised with several buckets. I loved sitting on the ground and running my fingers through the dirt to break it up the clumps.  I loved how the bushes looked with the fresh mulch circled around.

When I realized how much I loved sitting on the grass looking out, versus the view I have from my elevated deck, I decided to bring two chairs from the garage to place in the backyard so I can sit on the ground.  I visualized where I want my Iris and butterfly gardens to go and vowed to build my square foot garden this fall to be ready for planting vegetables and herbs next spring.  I envisioned a small stone patio outside the sliding glass door to my walk out basement with a bed of perennials around it.  The backyard was so beautiful, and I know I am blessed with the view to the natural area behind me.  I am excited that the birds are flocking to my feeder in the front of my house again this spring after being absent from it most of the winter and I decided to get another birdfeeder for the backyard.  I’ve been really worried about the twenty-nine percent reduction in the bird population in North America since 1970 and I want to encourage everyone to feed the birds and restore natural habitats.

Although the coronavirus has been stressful on everyone, I realized that the reduction of carbon dioxide may be improving our spring and that birds are now singing outside my windows.  After reading about how pigs are raised in warehouses and slaughtered quickly as the news covered the coronavirus effect on farmers and packing industries, I realized that I really don’t need to eat pork and subject pigs to those conditions.  I didn’t eat much pork before because of health reasons, but now I know I can do without it.  The empty freezer cases at the grocery store reminded me of that fact.  I thought about installing a bidet in the toilet, so I don’t need to use toilet paper.

It is as though God has said to us, we can help our planet survive by making simple changes – working from home, installing bidets, eating sustainable food, get back to nature, plant a vegetable garden and spend time with family playing board games or hoops instead of rushing them to activity after activity.   It has been pointed out that although financial experts say we should have six months to a year of cash for living expenses for an emergency, the majority of corporations, small businesses and Americans don’t have that safety net.   We need to ask ourselves why?  Is this solely a problem of wealth distribution and expenses rising faster than income, or is it also a consumer-based economy always on the move which tells us constantly to spend and, in the process, we are destroying our natural resources with our greed?

I am not sure of what the solution is, but I hope as Americans and world citizens we can envision an economy that is better balanced in wealth, built for resiliency and better for our environment.  I believe this is a wake-up call for a new beginning if we will listen.  

The Glory of Gardening

“The glory of gardening: hands in the dirt, head in the sun, heart with nature. To nurture a garden is to feed not just on the body, but the soul.”– Alfred Austin 

“Life begins the day you start a garden.”– Chinese proverb

“When the world wearies and society fails to satisfy, there is always the garden.”– Minnie Aumonier

“Beauty surrounds us, but usually we need to be walking in a garden to know it.”Rumi.

The three weeks stay at home order in my state was a welcome relief for me, although I know with deep appreciation that others are still busy working at home, caring for others especially the sick and providing much needed services, while others have lost their job or loved ones. I hope they will all be relieved of their stress soon.       

For me I have series of projects that need some deep reflective thought and this time will allow me time to concentrate on beginning those projects.  I also look forward to the warmer weather in spring and the chance to open up my home and to work in the yard.  My evergreen bushes need trimming and within a week I will need to mow my lawn.  Of course, I love my walks around the neighborhood waving and saying hello to my neighbors. It is a chance to turn off social media and the world which can be so distracting.  I have read that pollution and carbon dioxide levels are dropping here and around the world.  It reminds me that we all reduce global warming if we plant trees and shrubs, purchase less products in plastic and paper, eliminate harmful toxins in our home and yard, compost our yard and home waste, and make fewer driving trips.  It also signals that we need new broad-based economic and progressive social thinking that is required in a digital and service/gig economy where all stakeholders are considered, not just the stockholders.  Instead of just reacting, we need to envision the world we want to live in and build the systems to achieve it.  This requires slowing down and planning.  We seem to think that economic activity is necessary to be happy and productive, when often the opposite is required.  I loved how in a visit to Europe years ago, one waiter served the entire restaurant and guests just enjoyed visiting and savoring the food. There was no rush to vacate the table for the next customer so the restaurant and waiters could make money. Although as Americans we pride ourselves on our independent culture and our economic power, we can combine the best of all worlds.

My first week’s focus is to research basic steps and products to reduce waste in our lives primarily focused on paper and plastic to share with friends and neighbors.  I also want to encourage my neighbors to plant trees and shrubs and to spend more time in their yards visiting with neighbors.  The global climate crisis stems from living in a world disconnected from nature.  The more we encourage wildlife and nature in our neighborhoods, the more we value the Earth and feel closer to God and to each other.  

This week I am also researching landscaping planning software to download to my Mac and begin to plan a bird and butterfly garden for my yard as well as other areas.  I was excited to see plant nurseries are open for business during this stay at home order. I look forward to placing an order with them.   So far since in moving in, I’ve planted three trees and ten shrubs in addition to the landscaping and tree provided by the builder. For years I have collected gardening and landscaping books and magazines.  My favorite garden magazine is English Gardens.  I know that cultivating gardens takes years of expertise and I am just beginning.    

The final project these three weeks is to begin a website on wordpress.org to move my blog Sacredsouls to and begin in earnest my goal to open minds to possibilities.  I expect this project will take the remainder of the year, but I need time to outline a plan for a book, the website, and classes.  I want us to remember that our Earth is a garden and within us the power to live in unity with it and each other and to create a better life for all of us, diverse in our cultures and individuality.  

Remember in these times to plant a garden this spring.

"A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in." – Greek proverb