Life and Death Consequences

The need to remember my parents and their sacrifices as members of the military and the Greatest Generation comes during the holidays and especially in the current political climate.  I know a lot has changed due to technology and our modes of communication, but I think several new generations are now removed from the memory of what it took to unify and sacrifice in order to win World War II while still reeling from the effects of the Great Depression.  I know my parents’ generation eventually benefited from changes in our society when education and pay was more evenly distributed and they could improve their life.  But what disturbs me is that some of the members of my family as well as others say they only care about results.  They say they do not care how a leader behaves or demonstrates values.  I have to say it often comes from those who have never been in the position of leadership and therefore have had no experience with “skin in the game.” 

Our leaders have always been imperfect, but our attitudes about how a leader should behave is essential to the survival of the country and the world.  This is because I believe values flow from a God that is loving and righteous.  One nation under God who is love and who has granted us our freedom, but with the responsibility for our attitudes and actions. Actions that model integrity, respect, compassion, humility, sacrifice, and discipline are the foundation of our country modeled by the military and others like my parents and are the true reflection of a loving God. 

As civilians we may not understand and respect the one percent of the population who serve in the military.  Why? Because someone hugging the American flag at the same time accusing others of their lack of patriotism  because they kneel during the national anthem in protest of injustice, but then fail to model the values of a loving God is the one actually disrespectful of our nation’s flag and military. 

In a recent opinion piece in the Washington Post, former Secretary of the Navy Spencer stated the facts and said that the intervention by the President in the Navy’s process for self-discipline based on the Seal member advocating his case with Fox News was unprecedented.  He believes it is important that members of the Navy and Seal Force evaluate their behaviors and hold their own teams accountable because they understand the conditions and conduct necessary to be the best military in the world. He states what makes our military the most effective in the world is their actions are consistent with the values of our nation.   Secretary Spencer says the President does not understand the discipline and process required.  I suspect this is because he has observed the emotional, divisive, self-promotional, unethical and inconsistent  behavior of the President.  

I believe in the power of God, who is love, has granted us the freedom to make decisions for ourselves, but those decisions have consequences.   The mark of a great leader is they admit their mistakes and show humility to others while working to unify the population to create a vision and future for our country and the world.  How can you unify a country without actions consistent with those values?  How can you build trust with others if you do not model these behaviors?  I do not believe we can.  We are in an important crossroads in our country.  We must remember that we are one nation under God who is love and act according to the values our country is founded on or we will fail as a nation and a world.   There are unimaginable life and death consequences if we do not.

Dreams and the Power of Forgiveness

"Forgiveness is the final form of love."

I have a print of a mother and little girl outside a house in Monet’s Garden in Givenchy that I have owned almost thirty years and is my favorite piece of art. When I first saw it, I thought it was beautiful, but I didn’t know why except that I was drawn to the shades of blue, yellow, red and green of the garden and house.  As the years have passed, I have let go of other favorite art pieces purchased later, their relevance and meaning fading with the changes in my life, but not this print.  

Our lives are tied up in lost or unrealized dreams and they speak to us in many ways even when we are unaware.   The night before I turned 59 as I thought about the Monet print, my life unfolded before me in a reel within my mind as I remembered my choices and the consequences, I cried. I had dreams of being a mother, but the dream came too late in my life to have children.  In reviewing the events in my life, I knew I chose unwisely who I married in my twenties. I was also caught up in circumstances outside of my control that consumed my late twenties and thirties.  But I wondered if I had chosen a different path in college and my early twenties and followed my heart which is the love of the humanities, perhaps God would have opened the door for my soulmate and children?   If God had been my focus in my early adulthood would I have known the person within myself who is creative and loving instead of the perfectionist with a need for control and achievement?  

In growing closer to God, I have learned to separate my behavior that I am responsible for from judgments and imposed consequences on my life by others that are unfair and have put my life and health at risk.  I have become proficient at looking at a situation from multiple perspectives so that I understand the possible motivations of others and to try to find peace with my own thoughts and actions.  I have also learned I am responsible for my own lack of wellbeing when I chose not to walk away and let go of a vision and outcome so that God can  send new dreams for my life and open doors.  But sometimes I have let go and I am moving forward, something happens to remind me of my original vision.  I am never sure what  is behind the reminder and I wonder if someone is behind it with a purpose, whether it is a message from God  of joy or if the message is just random and I need to ignore it and remember the vision is behind a closed door.

I have been thinking a lot about God’s forgiveness recently.  In my life people intentionally have tried to break my spirit, make me question my sanity, or hurt me through others.  I know I am not alone in this feeling.  I believe actions taken by others with a vicious intent who now seek forgiveness, first need to ask forgiveness from God.  Only God for whom nothing can be hidden including what is present in our hearts can free us.   Until we take responsibility for our own sins and choices before God knowing only, he has the real power to show mercy and grace, no real reconciliation and forgiveness can occur from others especially those close to us.  Although many would not agree with me because they don’t believe in God or his righteousness, I know this to be true.  I believe only with the love and grace of God working with us and within us, can we move past our human imperfection and right our behavior.  

When we ask forgiveness, let go of the outcome, and acknowledge closed doors, God can transform our past mistakes and dreams into a reality as beautiful as Monet’s home and garden in Givenchy.  That is the power of God’s forgiveness and grace.

Reflections on Brittany Runs a Marathon and God Friended Me

“Happiness is not by chance, but by choice.”  Jim Rohn

Last Saturday I watched a wonderful movie titled “Brittany Runs a Marathon.” The movie brought home an important lesson to remember.  Brittany was overweight and lethargic, drinking and eating herself into emotional oblivion in New York City.  When she went to her doctor looking for a prescription to increase her energy, her doctor told her no and prescribed exercise.  After considering a gym membership she couldn’t afford, she slowly started running.  In the process she made friends, the weight started to come off and she decided to run in the New York City Marathon.  When an injury prevented her from running and she lost her housing, she moved in with her sister and brother-in-law in Philadelphia to recover.  She lost self-control and began binge drinking and eating again which led to an angry confrontation with a woman who was very overweight but was happy with an attractive husband.  When apologizing later on and receiving a response from the woman, Brittany discovered that focusing on the number on her scale or finishing the marathon is not the same as taking responsibility for her happiness.  She put away the scale, resumed working out, rebuilt her life and the next year completed the New York City Marathon.  The transformation of her life and outlook was amazing.

I was discussing the movie with a young man who is the manager at the Smoothie King in my town.  I remarked at the end, that the key was that Brittany took responsibility for her actions and happiness.  He smiled and said “of course, we can never control the outcome, but we can take responsibility for our attitude and actions.”  I was amazed at his wisdom at his young age, but then again, he always serves me with a smile.  I think that is what faith in God is.  We dream, we act, we count our blessings, and let God unfold the rest.  However, most of what we think about is how to achieve the envisioned outcome in the process missing the journey and how God can surprise us in the end.

This leads me to another show I watched this week – God Friended Me.  On Sunday, Miles who is directed by the God account on Facebook to help others in trouble (we don’t know who is behind the God account) is faced with a dilemma of going against his girlfriend Kara’s wishes. Kara is trying to protect her stepfather who is involved in a misguided insider trading scheme.  Miles discloses the scheme to a reporter and in the end Kara’s stepfather is arrested and sentenced to two years in prison. Although by reporting the scheme, Miles prevents a harsher sentence because Kara’s stepfather was getting in deeper further risking himself, his investors and his family, Kara is caught in-between not wanting to act and hurt her family.   In the end Kara, her stepfather, her mother and sister are financially and emotionally hurt but intact as a family.  Miles does not know the final outcome for Kara’s family, if Kara will ever forgive him, and whether he has lost her forever.  The show ends with those unanswered questions.  Based on Miles experience with the God account, it is never wrong. But for most of us direction from God on how to act is not clear and we know we are fallible. Our assumptions and resulting actions could have consequences for others not intended by God.  

My sister-in-law says in heaven, God will reveal all to us.  I don’t know if I am ready for that revelation because I would see the results of all my actions, intentional and unintentional, good and bad and it could be painful.  But I have faith that as I continue on my journey, I will become wiser in taking my direction from God and focus on the journey and my attitude, not the outcome.   The final outcome I leave to God.  

Faith Through Trial

 "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."  Hebrews 11:1

In my life I have a relative who is close to Jesus and the word in the Bible.  I love how when we talk, she can quote scripture that captures my feelings and thoughts.  As I talked with her recently, I had to  revisit one of my own lessons. 

She has a brother who has been very ill for ten years for whom she has been present through every surgery and hospital visit.  As she has aged, her own health has deteriorated and her ability to be the patient, loving sister is strained.  Her brother is again in need of surgery requiring a long trip to a hospital in another state lasting a week. She feels this trip will be too difficult for her physically, emotionally and financially.    Each time her brother becomes ill, she spends hours at the hospital and when he is finally released, she is drained and stressed and becomes sick.  Instead of deferring to her nieces to make the trip, she has been agonizing over the decision and her anxiety is increasing at the thought of her failing him.  This pattern is repeated with others in her life, including me.  She feels that she cannot set boundaries because she feels she must suffer as Jesus did so that others do not suffer.   This usually ends up with her losing patience or becoming ill.   Her brother has never completely turned to God through all his illnesses.   I asked her the question, "Are you hindering your own brother's spiritual journey with your need to be present for him in the place of Jesus?"

I live alone with my two cats and have no family nearby.  My parents and spiritual mother who were present for me during my early adulthood when I struggled, are long gone.  I am blessed to have friends who love me, but I try not to impose on them because they have their own families and lives.  As someone who has been alone and vulnerable, I know that ultimately, I have to have faith that God is always present with me, sustaining me, loving me in life and death.  I have learned through experience only God can be my constant because others with their human limitations and mortality  cannot be.  Faith has come to me as God has constantly answered my trials and pain with grace even when I have not deserved it.

My final questions for my relative were "Do you have faith that God can be with your brother when you cannot?"  "Can your brother also learn to have faith in God when you let go?"  I asked these questions knowing that I too need to let go and to have faith in the presence of God. 

Judgment and Vengence

6 They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. 7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” 8 Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust. John 8:6-11

"Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord."  Romans 12:19 King James Version (KJV)

Last night during our neighborhood Raise the Bar group, the topic for discussion was judgment with a focus on God and the Bible.  When we discuss topics, the group leader passes around a list of questions to guide us.   One of the key questions was how could the God in the Old Testament who was wrathful be reconciled with a God that loves unconditionally?  Does God sit outside of creation or is God a loving force guiding us within ourselves and in creation?  Do we bring consequences upon ourselves because we are not living within the laws of nature and scripture?   Or are these consequences coming down from a power separate from us which is rendering judgment on everything we do? Is the ultimate judgment rendered upon our death? How do we as individuals hold others accountable without judgment?  As we moved into the discussion it became apparent that this was a complex subject that was influenced by our image of God and the judgment of ourselves and others both as individuals and as a society.  

In my mind, I believe God is not only the creator but the loving force that propels the Universe forward in greater wholeness and understanding.  One of the purposes pf Jesus' ministry was to demonstrate how  the love of God should be lived as a human.   To transform our world in the Spirit of the Gospels, we must believe the Bible passages that creation is good, God is loving, and that with God all things are possible.  For me, each person as a child of God with a unique soul and should be treated with that respect.   I am part of a greater consciousness and society that binds us all.  I am also responsible for my own actions and I have to be accountable as do others.   But when I hold others accountable, I know it should be without revenge or hate.  Why?   Because evil is insidious and works to dominate our consciousness so that we are consumed with hate incapable of loving others and revealing the Kingdom of God on Earth.  The forgiveness of the parishioners at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal in Charleston who lost loved ones in the shooting during a prayer group demonstrated their love.  Through their actions their community healed and was able to move forward with love while holding the shooter accountable.

As the Raise the Group continued, we discussed authoritarian countries and terrorists and whether the United States is a righteous country that God uses to exercise vengeance?   We concluded that our  long history of enslaving a whole group of people for economic gain and other sins it was obvious that the nation lacked the moral authority to be righteous.  Humility as a nation is necessary because if we hold a mirror to ourselves, we are have committed crimes against humanity.  We are credible with other nations when we aspire to higher values while holding ourselves accountable for our actions that do not reflect our values.

As an individual I know that I cannot judge my own sins and see my true reflection, only God can.   But I know my own actions and I have learned humility because of God's and others grace in the face of my own sinfulness.   God's healing grace and love makes it possible to move forward in my life and know his goodness always prevails even when I need to be held accountable.